Communication.

Sisters.

A sign of good parenting? EK = Middle daughter. NS = Oldest daughter.

• NS: You need to get a life.
• EK: You need to die.

I love my kids. I really, really do.

Iterations.

ME Alpha 0.1: The Early Years 0 – 6.

What follows is secondhand information from a fairly reliable source: My parents. Ready? “Derek, you were a wonderful child.”

ME Pre-beta 0.4: STA (Surveillance and Target Acquisition)

Questions, questions, and more questions!

• School? What’s that?
• Times table? Why?
• Homework? Why?
• What’s your name? You wanna be friends?
• Why are you hiding in the closet?
• The pledge of what?
• May I go to the restroom?
• How?
• Why?
• What’s that?
• Who?
• Why does he run around pretending to be Wonder Woman? She is a girl and he is a boy, right? Oh. ????????
• Girls?
• Where is she from!? Japan? Where’s that? :: Target Acquired.
  

  I remember the day. She was over there and I was over there. She walked from there to there, said, “hi,” and then walked back over there, and then into the house. Well dressed, measured steps, and beautiful straight black hair.

  Love at first sight. NOTE TO SELF: Go to Japan. Marry Japanese girl.

ME Beta 1.0 b01: Jr. and Sr. High.

Whew, just made it!

ME 1.0: The Hard Work Begins.

School, work, military, “You are what,” military + Kids + wife, “You slut!”; America -wife; Japan with Wife 2.0, work (Nova) + kids + wife 2.0 for 17 years, and last Nova folds leaving me unemployed.

ME 2.0: New Horizons.

………Coming Soon……….

UNCLASSIFIED COMMUNICATIONS LOG:: HAIJIMA PHOTOWALK 10/25/2007

Learn How to Ride, Idiot!

BC = Body Control.
VC = Visual Control.
APC = Appendage Control.
AU-IN: Audio In.

INTERNAL COMMUNICATION
00:00:00 BC: Visual update.
00:00:01 VC: No approaching traffic from the rear.
00:00:01 BC: Okay. VC give us a forward sweep.
00:00:02 VC: Bicycle traffic at our 12 o'clock.
             Mid-twenties. Slow mover. Eye contact established.
00:00:02 BC: APC, prepare for passing maneuver.
00:00:02 APC: Roger.
00:00:03 VC: Traffic veering right. I repeat traffic
             veering right.
00:00:04 APC be advised...we will be passing
             traffic on our right.
00:00:05 BC  MARK 05 SECONDS.
00:00:07 APC: Roger. Course change: Left.
00:00:09 BC: Commence pass on our right.
00:00:09 APC: Course change underway.
00:00:10 BC  MARK 10 SECONDS. Course change looking good.
00:00:12 VC: WARNING: TRAFFIC COURSE CHANGE! TRAFFIC NOW
             VEERING LEFT!
00:00:12 BC: WE AREN'T CLEAR! BREAK LEFT! ALL STOP!
00:00:12 VC - APC: ROGER. EXECUTING!
00:00:13 BC: CONTACT! TILTING. GRAVITATION PULL INCREASING!
             APC...DEPLOY LEFT LEG!
00:00:13 APC: DEPLOYED!
00:00:15 BC: å®FALL AVERTED! ALL STATIONS REPORT!
00:00:17 AC: No damage.
00:00:17 APC: 100%.
00:00:18 BC: Roger. VOICE. Curse that SOB out!
00:00:20 BC: MARK 20 SECONDS!
00:00:20 VB: Roger. SETTING VOLUME TO +5. PROCEEDING
             WITH VERBAL ABUSE, "Why the hell did
             you go right and then turn left!? Idiot!"
00:00:24 BC: AU-IN REPORT!
00:00:25 BC: MARK 25 SECONDS.
00:00:26 AU-IN: Opening audio channel: "I am sorry."
00:00:28 BC: This guy is an idiot. Let's get back underway.

My Wife is Better Than Yours – In Some Ways: A Conversation.

The Yoshikawa Curse: “We all end up marrying a divorcee.”

The Players:
N.K. ..... Oldest Daughter (19).
E.K. .... Middle Daughter (18?).
WP .... Wife (Confidential).
ME .... Me (I'm not tellin').

• Wife Person (WP): N.K’s boyfriend is a divorcee. The Yoshikawa curse strikes again!
• ME: *Thinks* Oh, yeah.
• WP: WEll, except for my brother: In his case he is the divorcee.
• ME: Uh, huh. *Waits*
• WP: I know why.
• ME: Really?
• WP: Yeah. Because no one in our family is a part of Soka Gakkai.
• ME: ….
• WP: Soka Gakkai says we, people, are doomed to repeat our mistakes, unless we do that chanting thing. I didn’t chant and ended up married to you.
• ME: *That sorta hurt, but who am I to argue with the truth* True.
• WP: So, I told E.K. to start chanting so she can break the curse for her future kids.
• ME: LOL! I see.
• NARRATOR: Our hero runs that last statement around in his mind, “E.K. can break the Yoshikawa curse. Yoshikawa curse….Yoshikawa…
• ME: *Kisses wife on top of head* She _is_ your daughter.
• WP: Huh?
• ME: Think about it.
• WP/E.K.’s Step-mother: OH! OH!
• ME: I love you.

Just for You.

As Promised.

The question I asked myself was, “What are my three favorite YouTube videos?”

1. YouTube – The Happiest Monster :: A Cautionary Tale. They aren’t called monsters for nothing.
2. YouTube – Charlie : Candy Mountain :: Annoying.
3. YouTube – Darth Vader Feels Blue :: You are going to want your 87 seconds back.

Good Bye Ol’ Friend.

Dear Starbucks

Hello. We have known each other for several years now, which makes writing this letter difficult for me, Starbucks. You see, I can no longer patron your fine establishments and partake of the wonderful pastries offered within – especially your cinnamon and chocolate chunk scones. Do not blame yourself. Instead, blame the poor state of the economy and my meager savings account.

It fills me with _sad_ knowing that my lips, nose, and taste buds shall never experience the joy and pleasure of a Starbucks tall cafe mocha again.

Good bye, Starbucks. May you continue to prosper and provide customers with delectable drinks, sandwiches, and pastries.

Yours Truly

iM.

The Story Behind the Post.

Not much to it: I was spending close to 150 USD on Starbucks a month. That’s almost a PSP or DSLite a month!

One link: How To Write A Dear John Letter

Death is Everywhere.

Time to Die.

The conversation went like this:

• ME: I don’t want to die a painful death.
• HER: Huh? I am terrified of what comes after death. Modern medicine takes care of most of the pain, but I really hate not knowing what comes next.
• ME: Really? I don’t want to look back and regret large chunks of my life. That would really suck.
• HER: You are weird.
• ME: ????

So, the questions are:

1. Are you afraid of death?
2. What is it that frightens you?

Death Links:

• Allen Klein – Humor & Death
• Zen Humor
• The Death Clock – When Am I Going To Die? :: An oldie but a goodie
• A Time to Die (1982)
• No Time to Die — Printout — TIME :: From 1944.
• Science Fiction Book Reviews

Depeche Mode – Fly On The Windscreen-Final Lyrics. Brought to you via the marquee tag. Don’t hate me.

Death is everywhere
There are flies on the windscreen
For a start
Reminding us
We could be torn apart
Tonight
Death is everywhere
There are lambs for the slaughter
Waiting to die
And I can sense
The hours slipping by
Tonight
Come here
Kiss me
Now
Come here
Kiss me
Now
Death is everywhere
The more I look
The more I see
The more I feel
A sense of urgency
Tonight
Come here
Touch me
Kiss me
Touch me
Now
Touch me
Touch me
There are flies on the windscreen
There are lambs for the slaughter
There are flies on the windscreen
Come here
Touch me
Kiss me
Touch me
Now
Touch me
Touch me

More Depeche Mode Lyrics…

Reading Material.

Empty.

My hard drive died a few weeks back. The essentials were rescued, but my RSS feeds are gone. I want yours.

Share “one” feed per comment.

Thank you.

Whoops.

Wedding Anniversary.

She forgot again! Which is why I love her.

Beaten.

Yesterday 3 – Me 0.

Someone out there is wishing hateful shit on me. CUT IT OUT! Yesterday:

• Taught 3 lessons with a crusty booger poking out my nose. Yo, fellow instructors, thanks for *not* looking out!
• Had meeting, but left jacket somewhere else. Sigh.
• Ripped the crotch of my pants before meeting. How the hell did this happen?

So, yeah, I lost to Yesterday. So did this guy but on a different day: I Has a Sweet Potato. “The short version, for those who do not feel like reading the whole post: ARRRRRRG. Fucking sweet potatoes.”

Random Linkage.

Enjoy:

• Mr. Lee CatCam::Cat Tours :: Should be called The Secret Life of Cats. I am surprised he wasn’t executed for spying.
• I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? print spooler error :: Is the net going through some sort of cat fetish stage?
• DailyLit: Read books by email and RSS. :: About:
  

  We created DailyLit because we spent hours each day on email but could not find the time to read a book. Now the books come to us by email. Problem solved.

  I read Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom.

• For my Japanese audience: 我が妻との闘争 :: 可哀相な旦那さん. This guy’s wife is a total… (via Happy-Go-Lucky: Coco in Tokyo – cocochic’s Blog on Vox)
• WARNING: What follows is wrong and contains profanity. YouTube – hitler banned from xbox live. :: It takes a sick mind to come up with stuff like this.

A Letter.

Dear Today

I’ll meet you in front of Aeon Jusco after work. Say goodbye to your family and friends because I am going to hand you your posterior.

Yours Truly, ME